By Denny Freidenrich
My friend Cary and I first met 20 years ago. He was a Laguna Little League coach, and I was a parent in the stands at Riddle Field. Over the years, our paths crossed at restaurants and while walking in town, but that was about it. That is until 2018, when we decided to have lunch.
Despite our many political differences, we found common ground when it came to families, sports, bucket lists and more.
Cary met the current House Speaker, Mike Johnson, about a year ago. I first met former Speaker Nancy Pelosi in 1978. Cary’s ex-brother-in-law is Charlie Crist, Florida’s 44th Governor. At the same time, he was taking the oath of office in 2007, I met Barack Obama for the first time. I was thrilled when he was elected this nation’s 44th President the following year. Cary, not so much.
Back when Cary and I started having lunch, we talked at length about the 2016 presidential race between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. As the 2020 election drew closer, we still talked about Trump but wondered who his opponent might be. When I suggested Joe Biden, I thought Cary was going to have a heart attack. Several months later, rioters stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6. Needless to say, Cary and I were horrified. That’s when we decided to focus on other, friendlier, topics. For example:
Fatherhood: Cary and I take our roles as dads seriously. When we have lunch now, it usually is the first thing we talk about (after some good-natured political ribbing). We marvel at our good fortune to be able to watch our sons and daughters as they charge into adulthood. Sadly, some of Cary’s childhood friends, and some of mine, passed away long before their kids were old enough to vote.
Sports. Cary and I also share a passion for baseball — and one Willie Mays, who recently passed away. Growing up in Dallas in the 60s, Cary remembers picking the Giants and Willie as his favorite team and player. I’m not sure his baseball buddies agreed with him. For me, the choice was much simpler. I grew up 30 miles south of San Francisco, so my dad used to take my friends and me to Seals Stadium and then Candlestick.
Watching Willie exit the dugout and touch second base on his way to center field was something I always wanted to do. By the time I graduated from high school in 1966, I had fifteen framed pictures of The Say Hey Kid on my bedroom walls. Cary always smiles when I tell him that story.
Bucket list: You know how you think you know someone, only to be surprised? Well, this happened the last time Cary and I had lunch. It turns out one of his bucket list items is also one of mine. Namely, visiting the San Juan Islands. Neither of us knows what to expect other than a trip there seems like a peaceful place to spend a few days far away from our daily routines and the political firestorms that continue to divide families and friends.
Commitment to community: I’m so glad Cary and I decided to have lunch six years ago. For obvious political reasons, Cary and I both worry about the nation our children and their children will inherit when we are gone. Maybe that’s why my friend spends so much time contributing to worthy causes, like Big Brothers Big Sisters, and dreaming big about a way to help children who are critically ill. I know this is why I agreed to coordinate Orange County’s “No on Offshore Oil Drilling” campaign in 1985 and continue urging Joe Biden to convene a gun summit at Camp David now.
No matter who wins the 2024 presidential election, I guarantee you one thing: Cary and I will continue having lunch. I wish more people would follow our lead. If they did, Cary and I believe they’d be helping to heal the divide that has plagued our beloved nation for more than a decade.
Denny Freidenrich first moved to Laguna in 1970. His friend Cary, who has also lived in Laguna for years, retired from practicing law at a prestigious Costa Mesa law firm a year ago.
