By Billy Fried
Summer is here. And so is all of Riverside. If this week is any indication, we are in for a holy hell of devastating gridlock this summer. Until the city has the will to take control of our major arteries and radically reimagine them as less car-centric and more multi-modal, quit your complaining and deal with it. Because, unlike everywhere else on this crowded planet, at least we have the pleasant respite of our perfect beaches, with the toasty sand, refreshing water and quiet breeze.
Okay, so it takes you 30 minutes to get from your house to the beach. You finally wrangle parking, lug your gear down the steps, set your chair up, grab a cool drink, and settle in with your summer reading. And then the drone comes, building, getting louder, gaining decibels. Is it an army of leafblowers? Chain saws? Dune buggies? No, it’s those flying lawnmowers in the sky known as paramotors. They look like mini swamp boats. They fly low, right over you, doing their swoops, and the first time, it’s a novelty and kind of cool. But by the third time, your head rattles. And they keep coming and coming, often hovering over you in a vainglorious attempt for attention.
I was recently enjoying the newly replaced firepits at Aliso Beach and could not hear myself or others speak when these flying lawnmowers came swooping in. They disrupted our entire town as they made their way up the coast. We had to wait until they finished their aerial tricks and moved on to the next beach to annoy everyone there.
Why over our beaches, our last bastion of tranquility in a crowded world? Well, it’s because these pilots have discovered a loophole in FAA regulations, where they are classified as an ultralight, and are governed under the rules of FAR 103, which contains barely any rules at all. No pilot license required. No driver’s license. No training. No age requirement. They can hover one foot off the ground so long as they are not over buildings or people.
And these South County fliers have discovered the perfect loophole – a route to our coast from Aliso and Wood Canyons Wilderness Park. They fly high over green space until they reach the ocean. And then dip and dive and showboat. Do you blame them? With precious open space in our crowded corridor, they have found the most spectacular place to fly – over our ocean and within spitting distance of our luxury beachfront homes, where they enjoy front-row seats in our bathrooms and private areas. And that’s intrusive if you are sunning your perineum or enjoying a luxurious douching on your Japanese toilet.
Where can we go to escape the noise outside our home? Our streets are belching toxic fumes. And our restaurants sound like MMA events. I used to scoff at all the old people complaining about the noise here caused by revving vehicles and Harleys. But then I got old. And my tinnitus kicked in from that one George Clinton concert when my ear was pressed against the monitor. I can’t enjoy 90% of our restaurants now. Noise has become one of the biggest dis-regulators of our nervous system. And the second biggest complaint about restaurants outside of food.
Okay, I’ll admit those cheeky paramotor pilots are having way more fun than the rest of us. But at our expense! If you have to fly over our public space, do it the old-fashioned way – without an engine. Run and jump off a cliff, and then descend down gracefully with the wind, with thermals keeping you afloat. But no, in our lazy culture, someone decided to strap a noisy engine on their back and make the rest of us suffer! Why? Because it’s easier. But our beaches are sacred public spaces, with all of us enjoying them and respecting one another’s right to peace. So take your engine and shove it out to an open space where you can’t disturb anyone.
Here’s the thing: FAR 103 requires that ultralight vehicles must fly 2,000 feet above parks. Why? So parkgoers can enjoy the tranquility of nature. But isn’t our coast technically one giant beach park? Isn’t our protected coastline a marine park? Fishes have feelings too. And for God’s sake, if we care enough about noise to prohibit fireworks one day a year, don’t we have the will to contain it the other 364? Perhaps instead of appealing to the FAA to change their rules, we appeal to the Coastal Commission and have them officially designate our coastline one giant park. After all, their mission is to provide beach access to the public. But certainly not to drone out our enjoyment with preening paramotor pilots.
Billy is the Chief Experience Officer of La Vida Laguna, a silent adventure sports company that is human-powered and uses no engines. He can be reached at [email protected].
